Real Ninjaz
by Numara
Summary: A would be compilation of my Naruto & Sasuke stories with them, "acting real". Topics will vary, so proceed with caution and safety goggles. XD
1. For The Love of Pocky

Disclaimer: Don't own anything but the plot of this story drabble. Kishimoto does.

Summary: In all honesty, nothing but pure silliness on Naruto's part.

* * *

"Hey Saucy, could you pass me that donut please?"

Sasuke raised a single eyebrow at Naruto as he eyed the blonde who had just single handedly finished four bowls of ramen for breakfast.

"Don't you ever get tired of eating?"

"Don't you ever get tired of bitching?"

"If I said 'Yes', would this conversation end?"

"Only if you give me that last donut, bastard." Naruto grinned smugly as Sasuke rolled his eyes and handed him the powdered donut. Watching as Naruto devoured the entire donut whole, Sasuke grimaced.

"That's disgusting. For all of your gluttony, I'm surprised you haven't exploded yet."

"Whatever duckbutt, at least I don't look like a mal-nourished stick of pocky."

"... What the fuck? That didn't even make sense, you ass. How the hell could pocky look mal-nourished? It's food you idiot."

"You tell me, it's what you look like."

Sasuke cocked his head back to glare at Naruto, and gave a look that could only be described as "I'm gonna kick your ass as soon as you stand up".

"Haha, did I ruffle your feathers, ducky? My bad, how about I buy you some ramen to make up for it?"

"You just ate _four whole bowls _of ramen and a donut and now you want _more?_" Sasuke's look was one of disbelief which even he was surprised he was wearing considering it would probably would have been more surprising if Naruto _hadn't _had the appetite of a large animal.

It was times like these when Sasuke wished he lived with Sakura instead.

"Well, is that a yes or no, 'cause if it's a no, I'm jus' going to go anyway."

Sasuke rolled his eyes once more as Naruto picked his teeth with a toothpick that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

"Fine. But no ramen. If I see _any _ramen around me at all for the rest of the next week, I'm going to tell Sakura what you did in her coat closet last week."

"Hey! You said you wouldn't tell, you bastard!"

"That's for all of the "duckbutt" cracks, Dead last."

"Touché."

"Duh."


	2. The Daily Life: With Naruko & Sasuko

Summary: More Sasuke and Naruto crackyness, but now with their "ultra hip" counterparts 'Sasuke' and 'Naruko'!

Disclaimer: Kishimoto owns the series, I only own this plot

I apparently have _way _to much time on my hands. XD

* * *

"Does this skirt make my ass look huge?"

Bending over to inspect herself in the mirror, Naruko grinned as her dark-haired counterpart snorted and returned to filing her long finger nails, all the while ignoring the blond.

"No. I think your huge ass makes your ass look huge."

"Good."

Rolling her eyes as the blond slipped on four inch heels that could have probably even sent the most professional of porn stars tumbling to the ground, Sasuko placed the nail filler back on the make-up counter and began to paint her nails using her favorite 'Fire-Engine Red' color.

"Ugh, you're wearing that cheap-ass stuff on your nails again? Just so you know, freaky red contacts plus tacky red nail polish doesn't equal "hotness", Saucy-chan."

"Who are you talking to, you dumb ass? You're just jealous because if this were a competition, I'd beat your ugly ass every time, Dead-last."

"Oi! Don't call me that, Ducky-chan!

"Then don't insult my taste in nail polish, Idiot."

Naruko pouted and grabbed the last of her accessories before attaching a small microphone underneath the back of her tight pink shirt and turning to face Sasuko.

"One more thing, how about instead of "_The Daily Life: With Uchiha Sasuko & Uzamaki Naruko", _how about we try,"_The Daily Life: With Uzamaki Naruko featuring Uchiha Sasuko"?_

Sasuko narrowed her eyes and before giving Naruko a condescending look. "No. All you did is change it so that your name comes first and seems more important."

Naruko perked up at this, "Exactly!"

"..._Hell no." _

"Aw! I'm going to tell Itachia-sempai about this!"

Sasuko snorted. "See if I care, she's off doing the, "_Bizarre life" _anyway…"

"...damn."

"Exactly."


	3. Pancakes

Author's Note: This one was fun to do. I had been giving myself prompts to test my writing ability with and this was the result. I hope you all enjoy this.

Warnings: Pancake bashing?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters.

* * *

"These pancakes suck."

Naruto wrinkled his nose and stuck out his tongue in a dramatic attempt to make his point and Sasuke had to ball up his hands in order to keep from reaching across the table and strangling his teammate.

"Yeah? Well then _don't eat them_. I didn't make them for you anyway, loser, YOU just decided to take them." Sasuke said this with perfect restraint, knowing fully well that there wasn't any ramen or any other food in the house for Naruto to eat.

Checkmate.

Naruto mumbled something about having clearly thought the lack of food situation over before bitterly stuffing half a pancake into his mouth.

"Fine. But, Bastard, next time you decide to make pancakes, how 'bout putting strawberries on top instead of tomatoes?"


End file.
